Gay Marriage:
Not until they respect marriage as much as Elizabeth Taylor!

Proudly rededicated 2014 to Ann 'n' Mel

Seems that NO ONE--no matter how erudite--has managed to note something as plain as the appendage on the body area of yer choice, to wit:

The essential defining quality of marriage is commitment, not the indoor or outdoor plumbing of the committers.  It's ALL about staying together, and that's the nature and purpose of the institution.  Period.

Ain't it suspicious that no one can even remember this long enough to comment on it?

It seems the straights have made the most tragic—and trashy—mockery of the institution, after having exclusive privilege to it for centuries.  Their 50% flame-out rate should function as duct-tape over their righteous mouths.  Their three-out-of-four infidelity rate should function as rivets..

They—I say "they" even though I am one and am ashamed of us all—treat marriage like a cranked up prom night; a too-kewl chance for the woman to dress up as a virgin and swan around for a day with a bikini wax and a pearl-pink pedicure that no one sees and the groom couldn't care less about.   [Why does she do this?] 

So the genitally-correct couple parrots some vows that have barely been videotaped and edited, before husband and wife are splitting for new booty and raising a generation of kids in Franken-families who think "commitment" is an urban legend.

Aside:  No wonder kids have to have tattoos and piercings!  They look at the folks who could throw away a wedding ring like a pantiliner, and they say,  "Hey, wimps, I'm having a ring stuck through holes in my skin."   It's a reaction to the death of commitment—and we know who the assasins are.  

An aborted marriage should be treated like an aborted college degree;  if you don't finish the thesis, you don't qualify.  If you don't finish the commitment, then you've attempted marriage, but not filled the requirements.  (I know i know, this view is considered wildly eccentric.)

The straights have behaved like marriage was from Wal-mart™, so keep the receipt.  Straights flout vows to both mates and children, showing that most of them shouldn't have been allowed to breed in the first place.  "Off to the vet with them!"

They break their vows to their own kids—the ones who make straight marriage the decent, god-fearing thang that it is.  Thanks to faithless straights, "family life" is now sponsored by realtors and therapists who follow newly-fissioned Frankenfamilies like those manure-scoopers who follow horses in parades.

No, my fellow citizens—it's about the vow, stupid!  So if gays want to have a couple of millennia to do as well as we did, how dare we huff and strut and claim that we're the only people qualified to make kids cry by telling them that daddy's moving out to live with Martha from Accounting.

Supple reader, give this point some consideration, if you'd be so kind, as it's been standing backstage the whole time whilst every other prima-pundit has had their hour upon the stage—missing the whole point.  

Clarity and perspective seem desperately needed.


[All cartoons from]




If you have
a big mouth,
use it to shed light.


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Tears and Money Shots:
The Obscene View of Grief

The Frankenfamily:
Dedicated to
children of divorce

Drama and GPS

Murkin Theology:
The all-you-can-eat-buffet as an altar of worship

SUVs and Pet Rocks: Differently Abled products

Dear Single Men